I talked about it a few times yesterday with a few different people. They say talking helps, but it honestly makes things more confusing.
It’s already confusing.
I don’t need more “what if’s” clouding my head.
I’m getting over this. It’s only a matter of time.
I swear it is feeling better. I hold close to memories because they’re all that’s left after all these years. I will grow from this, but I promise I will not change. This is not on me.
The world and its people are shitty, shitty beings.
I am trying to accept this. I am trying to come to terms. I need time. Help me. Trust me.
I am so so lost. Beaten down. I have no answers to these stabbing, burning questions that constantly weigh me down. I tried so hard.
I can’t even anymore.
Like, my birthday is tomorrow. I turn 23 while I’m serving coffee to all you crazy Black Friday shoppers.
Things are weird. Life is weird. I usually blame myself but I’m beginning to think everyone else is the devil.
I stopped writing and drawing for the longest time; working took precedence over everything else. Lately my emotions have been out of control. In the past few months, two of my friends passed away and two of my best friends decided we were “growing apart as friends.” Well, one situation was messier than the other. I understand we both have busy lives, but when you choose hanging out with everyone else including my ex boyfriend over me, things get messy. When I find out from said ex boyfriend that you and your boyfriend of like, 5 years broke up recently, things get messy.
I’ve had a terrible breakup that still affects me til the present. Losing a lover with the thinnest of reasons follows you for years. The easy part of a breakup is that you usually expect love to fade. It happens. Everyone has to deal with the spiral after a romanic relationship.
But the hardest breakup of all is that between best friends.