This lonely feeling comes and goes but as far as I can tell, nothing can really change it.
This is how it’s gonna be.
Just another Friday with big things ahead.
The fact that I can is sweeter than actually following through. Kind of.
"I wish things could’ve been different."
I’m sure we all do about something in our lives. Let’s think about how many times we’ve used that phrase. Every action has an affect both in the present and later down the road. I like to think that if things with us were better, I wouldn’t have been enjoying these strange adventures lately. My life has become one big strange weird and awesome adventure. I am very thankful for the tail end of 2013 and all of 2014 so far.
Heartbreak is pretty crummy, especially since your thoughts of a future were being built around one person and where their life was taking them.
But now I’m focusing on what I am going to do tomorrow for myself.
Like I really need to get my hair did and I am too lazy to do it well not so much lazy as I don’t feel like spending the $$$ so whatever.
If you’re at a point in your life where you know you can’t commit to a relationship,why go through all of the motions with a girl to make her feel like there is the possibility of one? Calling her cute names like babe, taking her out (& paying), telling her you really like her & that you aren’t seeing anyone else, etc etc.
Just be honest- you want a hookup for awhile. It’s cool. Ladies that want it bad enough will totally respect your fear of monogamy and jump on the dick train. Don’t fuck (literally) with the ones who are interested in giving you all of their time and putting forth effort to make things work. We don’t want to waste our time on someone who may offer good boom boom but bails out a few weeks later for a new plow sesh.
I need to reevaluate my life. Stat.
Dear diary .. help.
Dyed my hair lavender again for the billionth time .. except I actually did most of my hair. I’ll probably do the last bit tomorrow so it is colored all over.
The things I do when I am bored.
These are the things.
Two people sleeping in the same empty bed.
Try not to feel, don’t feel, no feelings.
Listening to music is something we should all do when nothing else seems to make sense.
Looking to find peace in every instrument.
Living life through lyrics.
Swimming through thoughts.
Replacing every negatively perceived moment.
Moments made into temporary havens.
Helixes of ecstasy.
Tracing the anatomy of your ears.
Finding comfort in every measure.
Measuring moments of reclusive reverb.
The sound of home.
I’ve been reading my old blog entries from when I was a young gun - 13 to be exact. It’s so strange and intriguing to watch yourself grow up through journal entries. We are all on a journey, and it’s exciting to see how far we’ve come whether it be through writings, photographs, or drawings. I am glad that I blogged my whole life .. I guess I am most thankful for that.
Here is to ten more years (and beyond) of always learning, changing, and becoming a better person.
Insert clappy hands and party emojis here.
I should have learned my lesson the first time the hot stove scalded my finger tips.
We always go back for more despite the pain.
Creatures of habit habitually making mistakes.
Growing into a comfortable feeling of second-best being okay.
If he can’t be honest to you now, then when the hell is then?
When I care, I commit. When you can’t commit, I will eventually quit.
It’s only a matter of time until this feeling will pass.
This is not on me.
I should be napping considering the lack of sleep and abundance of activities in my life lately.
But I’m never tired after work. Typical.
I am so proud of myself for actually being mature for a moment in my life. Imagine that. I really am growing up.